For as long as I can remember, I had an overwhelming fear of heights. The fear grew worse if I was on a bridge over a long expanse of water. Driving over bridges became easier as I got older, as long as I was aware of the need to go over them ahead of time. I recall two particular instances when I was driving and suddenly came upon a bridge over water. The fear that overtook me was so overwhelming. My body tingled and I had to focus on taking deep, calm breaths just so I could successfully drive across the bridge.

My fear of heights (acrophobia) included being in extremely tall buildings.  I avoided a trip to the St Louis Arch on a mission trip. I avoided taking trips to lighthouses anytime we visited a beach. And I certainly avoided riding in glass elevators! That was a very terrifying thought! But there has always been a desire in me to conquer my fear of heights. 

By the summer of 2017, I had survived the tough year of 2016. Due to the many emotional events of that year, I was taking anti-anxiety medication. One benefit of that medication was the lessening of my fears! Driving over bridges was less and less fearful each time I did so.  Peering over railings and looking down became easier – as long it was only one or two flights up. That summer, my husband, son and I took a vacation to St. Augustine.  An opportunity was presented to help conquer my fear.   

Our son wanted to visit the lighthouse while in St. Augustine. I had begun my own interest in lighthouses many years ago while serving as a cheerleading coach for our church’s Upward Basketball program. One of our weekly devotions included a story on lighthouses. When I studied that information, I became curious about how lighthouses were designed and worked. I also began to see why so many people talked of Jesus as their lighthouse.

Since our son wanted to go to this lighthouse, I decided I wanted to conquer the fear of climbing up and looking out at the view. Of course, going up the winding, narrow steps was no easy task itself. But we managed and I was able to walk around the gallery and look at the scene around me and take a few pictures. I was amazed that I truly did not have any fear when I was up there. I simply enjoyed the view of the ocean in the distance. I was thankful that I had conquered that fear.

Since that summer, it has become easier and easier for me to drive on bridges over water. I even managed to visit the St. Louis Arch and thoroughly enjoyed the views from the top. I have enjoyed a few rides in glass elevators without total fear. I no longer need the anti-anxiety medication, though when I rode my first Ferris Wheel in St Louis, I felt it would have helped!.  I look forward to visiting other lighthouses in the coming years.  Each one offers its own unique view of the ocean. Even though lighthouses are man made – they were built to safely guide ships in as they approach the coast on God’s great expansive oceans! He has created the most amazing views for us.  

Just as I was able to realize his truly amazing power when I saw the sights below me years ago on that mountain top in Colorado, I hope to see his amazing power in further trips to HIS other beautiful creations in nature. My ultimate goal of conquering fear will be to stand at the edge of the Grand Canyon and look down.  I just don’t think I will ever be ready to stand on any of those plexiglass floored overlooks! Though I know if I ever want to try, Jesus will get me through if I fully trust HIM to help me. 

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalms 56:3

(For details on my rough year of 2016, read this post: The Good, The Sad, The Scars )