When I awake in the middle of the night, I often recite Psalm 23 in my mind. It usually takes “saying” it twice before my mind gently drifts back off to sleep. However, in recent months, my mind has sort of taken on “a mind of its own” whenever I try this tactic. Recently, it has begun visualizing the things I recite in my mind. I make it fine through the first part; “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” The next sentence is where my mind goes off track.  “He makes me lie down in green pastures.”  finds my mind jumping to a favorite painting done by my mom. As I say in my mind, “lie down in green pastures;” my mind jumps to the grassy area to the left of the path. I imagine myself lying in soft green grass looking up at the sky. I mentally start over on the passage and make it to the next line before my mind wanders again. “He leads me beside still waters” has me picturing my feet dangling in the water of the stream to the right. I wrangle my brain back to the beginning of the Psalm once again. 

“He leads me in paths of righteousness” finds my eyes seeing many paths behind the little cottage. The slight hill on the far left path leads to the “valley of the shadow of death”. There I remember all the losses in my life as well as the times his “rod” redirected me when I was on wrong paths.  I know his “staff” pulled me back into safety when I made wrong decisions. I wrangle my brain to start reciting this passage once more and I make it to “you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies”.  This is when a very “EYE OPENING MOMENT” occurs. I’ve always thought of my enemies as people. BUT – as I stand inside the small cottage in my mind, I turn, and instead of seeing people behind me, I see the wall covered with words. WORRY – ENVY – ANGER – PRIDE – GREED – JEALOUSY – DESIRE – WORRY – JUDGEMENTAL – DOUBT –  PRIDE – ENVY – MONEY – WORRY.  After several nights of this nighttime mind wandering, I have come to realize that those words represent my true enemies. The things that make me do things that are against God‘s will. 

The Lord is my shepherd, – I – shall – not – want. I realize all the words on the wall – in various ways -represent things that I want, not the things that God wants. When I waste my time on these enemies, I am not doing what God wants me to do. I am not loving others as he instructs. For several weeks this nightly wandering in my mind has kept me awake. Once I finally decided to put all those thoughts/sights/words into real words I have slept more soundly. Maybe by simply writing them I have worked out what God wanted me to “SEE”.  By sharing them with those who may read them, maybe God is showing you what he needs YOU to SEE.

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. 2 He makes me  lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; 3 he restores my soul.He leads me in right pats for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff – they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;  you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.  6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,  and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.   Psalm 23 (NRSV)

https://joy-in-my-journey.com/2022/09/18/lost-in-a-painting/ – My previous post about this painting.