I joined the “Mom Club” 40 years ago today.  It was not quite the day that I had anticipated due to some very unexpected circumstances and occurrences.   After several miscarriages I had finally made it into my second trimester and we were excited that a baby was on the way!  Then about halfway through the usual 40 weeks – surprise – TWINS!   This news resulted in quick plans to turn our two bedroom home into a three bedroom home. Within eight weeks the addition was dried in and ready for interior work.  

That’s when things changed drastically.  I unknowingly went into labor –13 weeks early – and had preeclampsia.  Attempts to halt labor were unsuccessful and on November 22, 1984 our Thanksgiving Day was interrupted by some special deliveries.  Twin A was born at 10:48 AM followed by her brother, Twin B at 10:49.  Medical teams began working on each of them quickly while the OB finished up surgical procedures.  

Suddenly the discovery of a small foot brought the biggest surprise of all – Twin C was born at 10:52!   (Yes, they were triplets but since the NICU nurses had already made tiny bracelets for Twin A and B to go on their isolettes, the decision was made to use Twin C for the third bracelet.) The energy in the OR changed so quickly and I very quickly told my husband her name.  The next 72 hours were filled with learning lots of new medical terminology.  My biggest shock was learning that when a baby was breathing room air IT DID NOT mean she was breathing totally on her own.  It just meant she was breathing air through a ventilator that contained the normal 21% oxygen.  

My first 110 days as a mom consisted of visiting my babies in the NICU at least 5 days a week.  I had to rely on others to drive me for the first six weeks.  The roller coaster of emotions was intense the first several weeks.  When Twin B, our son Daniel, passed away after 14 days with us, things changed.  My focus turned into morning phone calls to get updates followed by afternoons in the NICU sitting with my precious girls and learning how to care for them.  There were a few health scares for Twin A, but God was providing us with unknown miracles.  

Year one as a mom was filled with doctors appointments, one minor surgery after discharge, one emergency admission to the children’s hospital, and countless alarm filled nights.  By their second birthday I began to struggle during the days following their birthday through the anniversary of our precious Daniel’s death. Seeing other preemies in a movie or on a magazine cover brought severe distress.  I had no desire to be around people or get ready for Christmas.   I forced myself to get the tree up for the girls.  As the years passed by I had seasons that brought only a day or two of sadness while others would find me truly struggling to be a mom.

Just after my precious preemies became teenagers I became involved in an online support group for parents of preemies.  Through many discussions with fellow parents that had similar experiences, we realized we all suffered from a form of PTSD.  The trauma of those NICU days and the years of medical needs created memories that are brought to the forefront of our mind from certain smells, sounds and sights. Once I was able to give those yearly days a name, it became a bit easier to survive the onslaught of feelings.    

I am grateful daily for God’s provision and comfort during those toughest years.  I pray daily that each Thanksgiving season brings less PTSD moments so that I can focus on enjoying my family and friends. I pray especially that this momentous year is one in which I overcome those emotions and truly rejoice at the wonderful lives God has given our girls. I hope there is no crying over the memories that bring heartache.  Our precious girls are both wonderful young women and God blessed us greatly that Thanksgiving morning and every day that has followed.